Makeup Graveyard Vol. 1: The Ugly

Hey y'all! I've been intending, as the self-proclaimed "Beauty Vigilante," to take to task some of the lamest products I've used this year.  Some of them I'm still trying to use up (however futile that may be), but I thought I could blow the whistle on the products that are already collecting dust in my Makeup Graveyard.
This series will take the form of short 'n' sweet reviews.  Want to see what I mean? Keep reading!
Exhibit A:

Top Row, left to right:
L'oreal the Onesweep in Nectar: Invisible. No point.
Jouer mattifying bronzer/powder in sunswept/translucent 1: No pigment, pan too small.
Pop Beauty Texture Palette: Fallout galore, poor pigmentation, doesn't make me want to try anything else by this brand.  Eye primer is utter crap.
Too Faced LE Leopard Palette: Way too hard-packed, couldn't get it to show up on my skin.

Second Row:
Ulta Eyeshadow quads and lipgloss that comes in one of their blockbuster sets: You get what you pay for.  The gloss is free of pigment, but at least it has no smell. It and the shadows don't last, the teal shadow was pretty but stained my lids.
Stila One Step Primecolor (samples) in Bronze Babe and Per Suede: Don't last as a cream blush, kinda pointless.
Sally Hansen Crackle Overcoat in Fuchsia Shock and Antique Gold: Separated almost immediately, don't look like their bottle color on the nail. Fuchsia shock gets dark and doesn't shatter much, Antique gold leans silver and clumps.
Maybelline Express Finish Nail Color in Iced Mauve: chips almost immediately, brush is awful.
Harajuku Lovers Eyeshadow GWP: both chalky and sheer.
Sephora by OPI Havana Dreams (too sheer, took like 6 coats to get opaque. Somehow didn't chip quickly, though) and IM Beauty (stained my nails, too sheer).

Third Row:
NYC Eyeshadow Duet in Island Sunset: utter lack of pigment, fades to NOTHING even with primer.
Jouer eyeshadow trio In the Suedes: so hard-packed I couldn't pick up any with brush, sponge, finger...
Wet n Wild LE Trio in Fly Me to the Moon: chalky and sheer, a rarity for WNW trios.
Rimmel Day 2 Night Mascara: clumpy, flaky, gross. Doesn't build volume at all.
Too Faced Lash Injection: Like nothing's on.
Maybelline Great Lash: Never dries!
Wet n Wild i-Shimmer Liner: Gritty
NYX Candy Glitter Liners in Silver and Hot Candy: the gel dries out quickly in this tube and the applicator makes it apply clumpy. Get NYX Crystal glitter liners instead; they are WAY better!
Lancome Bright Expert: Didn't do anything.
Wet n Wild Mini-mascaras: Mega plump was completely dried out so I didn't even get to try it.  I have used a full-size Mega length and it's all right, but this mini was also dried out when I opened it :(
Sephora mini mascaras (atomic volume and advanced lash booster): Sephora was giving these away this summer. They should have been paying people to take them! Stings my eyes...
Blinc Mascara: Full review here
Too Faced Lip Insurance: unpleasant and just didn't work
Sally Hansen HD Nail Color in Pixel Pretty: chipped almost immediately
Sally Hansen Insta-dry Nail Color in Snappy Sprinkles: impossible to pick up the bar glitters with the brush, and they don't lay flat on the nail so it chips the same day you put it on.

Fourth Row:
CoverGirl Perfect Point Plus eyeliner: never sets, so it smears as you wear it
Ulta Automatic Eyeliner in Moss: no pigmentation
Wet n Wild H20 Proof Liquid Eyeliner: the brush is terribly thick, consistency is watery
Three Smashbox Photofinish Lid Primers: Got these with various kits. Of course none of them work to make shadow last (though they do work to intensify it, you'll get all the creasing of zero primer).
Tarte lifted natural eye primer: doesn't give a lifted look, doesn't keep shadow from creasing
Diorshow Maximizer: a mascara base, didn't seem to add any oomph under mascara
Tarte MultiplEYE lash primer: also didn't add anything to my lashes, imho
Benefit They're Real Mascara: seems to work for everybody but me; looks great but flakes terribly!
Benefit Posietint: I hate these blotchy stains!
L'oreal Telescopic Carbon Black liquid liner: Full review here
Miracle Skin Transformer spf20: Transformed my skin into a greasy mess, ewww!
The Stainers: Revlon Garden, Wet n Wild The Wonder Yellows, Forever 21 Love & Beauty Lime (sad, because the two lime colors are gorgeous on)

What did you think about this lineup of beauty criminals? Any you disagree with? Who is innocent and should be set free and who should be buried in the backyard beneath the daffodils?